bon·´da·ge ( ~ (f.))
= tying someone as a part of sadomasochistic sex.
According to the dictionary, that is the definition of bondage.
The English holds more definitions than the Dutch one. i.e. The situation of someone being bound as a slave.
My own definition connects to both. Though not as strong as the definition in the second case would make you suspect.
That doesn’t mean that our relationship is like having a continous difference in power. We are unequal at moments when we both have the need for it.
The moment that physical bondage (I’ll make he distinction there) comes into play, there is of course a clear difference in power that is expressed in her impotence to deliver herself from the ropes which I use to bind her.
Bondage, and then Japanese style bondage, isn’t just tying up, not just helplessness, not just naked exposure.
Japanese bondage is the ancient Oriental Art of sadism that uses hemp or jute rope (mostly) to bind a woman. And that in very uncomfortable positions.
Knots (or rather, frictions) in the rope can be strategically placed on the most sensitive places of the skin and flesh.
For stimulation, but also as “torture”.
In a good bondage the choice for the one being bound is often between 2 uncomfortable positions. She alternates the 2 to be as little as possible “bothered” by either of them.
This form is (after tying her up) a fairly passive one for the one that ties. Once bound it can be a very pleasing sight to see the submissive being powerless, and at the same time being stimulated en seeing her enjoying it too.
The moment I bind my submissive we are closer than anyone in the world. It is just her and me that exist. Doing it I get very alert.
Not in the last place because I realise I have responsibility at that moment. But also because I get a kick out of it! An adrenaline-rush. Ropes slide over her body and she feels peace coming over her.
She enjoys giving me that power with ropes. The physical happening has deeply mental consequences. If it is done right!
For me personally it is always important that the one who feels my bondage ropes, enjoys being in that position that I put her in. She chooses to let me have my way with her. And that to me are the basics of bondage.
The free choice not to be able to move freely asks for a lot of trust. Trust in the one that makes you powerless.
Assuming the the one who binds knows what he/she is doing, you may expect that it is safe at all times (More about that here).
Unfortunately there are still many who don’t know very well.
No one is all-knowing, I just do what pops into my head. Even if one has thought it over well and basically has a lot of advantage from background-knowledge, it is still important to be very alert. Kicking in an open door: You should know what you are doing when binding someone, you might damage him/her.
The smae goes, in my opinion for the bound party. You share responsibility. Be aware of your body; what it can or cannot take… and say it when something is not feeling good!
As in life, just doing it, doing what you like and feels good, is the best learning school. There are of course workshops or courses “bondage for beginners” And with common sense and some background knowledge, you’ll do fine.
Although… Bob of Ropemarks gives workshops in The Netherlands. I am talking about the Dutch situation now.
Still, suggestions are very welcome!!
We have participated in Bob’s workshop and it’s a lot of fun en very useful to do that. Suggestions from someone that really knows what he’s doing really help!
Other people on the other hand do give demonstrations, but it is just nicer to do it yourself of course and not just be a passive audience.
The challenge is the most intense when you learn everything yourself by practise, practise and practise. On top of that, in my view is it the most fun to discover it all together with your partner. Experiment together.
Tie and enjoy!
This piece is subject to change. For expansion and due to other insights from me. So, every once in a while return to this page and look again, OK?
(Master of one-syllable words ;~) )